Silent Suffering
by Lola-2011
Summary: Who can save Dana from herself? R&R updated
1. Falling Apart

Falling Apart  
  
  
  
I do not own these character's, Whoopi and Lifetime do.  
  
  
  
A.N[This takes place after the season finale]  
  
  
  
Dana sat silently in her office, reading the results of her pregnancy test, they were negative. The artifical insemination failed. She was so upset she began crying uncontrollably, not knowing what else to do. After several minutes she dried her eye's, grabbed her purse and headed out of her office door, thinking she could sneak away without anyone noticing. "You leavin', Dana?" Dana did'nt even turn around for fear someone would see her tear stained face, with her hands still on the clinic doors she calmly answered Lu, "yeah, I have some things to take care of, right away", her voice did'nt crack, to her surprise and Lu did'nt doubt her, "okay, see ya tomorrow". Dana takes a deep releaving breathe, "bye, Lu". Lu calls her next patient out of chairs as Dana walks out the door.  
  
When Dana arrives home she hangs up her purse then walks into the living room, sit's down on the couch and begins to cry again, her mascara ran down her face, streaking a path. "I'm not going to do this" she said aloud to herself, she sniffled, got up and walked into her bedroom, she quickly undressed and put on a night gown and feathery robe. She then walked into the kitchen and opened the refridgerator door, getting out a bottle of wine, she then grabbed a wine glass and went back into the living room. Dana sat there in the dim light pouring glass after glass of wine, trying to drown out her problems, temporarily anyway.  
  
She awakes the next morning around noon with a terrible headache, she slowly pulls herself into a sitting position to find two empty wine bottles in front of her and another one half empty. She slowly pulls herself up off the couch and walks into the bathroom where she grabs two tylenol and washes them down with water. She splashes water on her face and raises up to look in the mirror, her hair was falling down and make-up was smeared across her face, suddenly the phone rang, not being able to stand the noise, she shut the bathroom door to drown the sound but, could still hear Lana's voice.  
  
"Doctor Stowe, this is the third time I've called this morning, if you're there pick up [pause] well, I'm cancelling your appointments for today but I don't know what to do with the rest of the week". Lana hung up and Dana slowly walked out into the kitchen to discover Nick, standing in the dining area, "Nick, what are you doing here?" Nick stood there with his hands in his pockets, "you leave work yesterday, don't show up today, something's wrong, what is it?" Dana walked over to the fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, "why do you care?" she went into the living room with Nick only a few steps behind her, "Dana, I do care about you and I want to help, please let me". Dana poured a glass of wine, he pleaded with her, Dana was usually a strong woman but, he could tell she was falling apart and right before his eye's.  
  
Dana spoke, her voice was cracking with every word, "the insemination failed". Nick sat down beside her, "what are you talking about?" Dana drank most of what was in her glass, "I was inseminated about six weeks ago and today I got back the results that it was unsucessful". Nick took Dana's hand, "I'm so sorry, Dana". It was like she almost melted at his touch, she suddenly felt a wave of emotions ready to pour out. "I so wanted this to work, a child would make my life complete". Nick wrapped his arm around Dana, she layed her head on his shoulder and began to cry, "why is everything in my life going wrong?" Nick moved Dana's hair so he could see her face, "well, lets' get your life back on track, one step at a time", Dana looked up at him, "how?"............  
  
  
  
Please Review. Thanks, Lola. 


	2. Spinning Out of Control

Spinning Out of Control  
  
  
  
  
  
Doctor Delgado had just been paged to the ER, she ran down the clinic hallway and pushed open the doors just in time to get the information from the paramedics. "female in her mid thrities, possible alcohol poisioning, shallow breaths, CPR performed at the scene" Lu pointed in the direction of curtain three and they wheeled the stretcher that way, "vitals?", she called, another EMT spoke up, "temp 96.5, pulse, 54, weak and irregular, respirations, 9, weak and shallow, BP, 104/54" as they got to the curtain the EMT's and the nurses transferred the patient from stretcher to stretcher while Lu quickly put on gloves and a gown, "10cc's of epi and a central line nitroglycerian" Lu turned around to examine her patient but, found herself in shock of who is was, "oh, my god" Lu looked up and scanned the room, "Hayes, get over here", he came to her on her command, "examine the patient", he put on gloves and was ready to begin but, he got nervous when he seen who the patient was, "this is" he was interupted by Lu, "yes, it is" Lu looked up at the nurse, "get me a GCS, an EKG, pulse ox, LFT, BA, a tox screen and Doctor Biancavilla, stat".  
  
Nick came walking casually through the ER doors about ten minutes after being paged, "you rang?" Lu nodded her head, "follow me" she lead him over to curtain three, she slowly opened it, allowing Nick to enter behind her, "close the curtain", Nick pulls the curtain shut and when he turns around he like Lu is in shock, "oh, god, Dana" he rushed to her side, "Lu what happened?" Lu spoke very softly, "GCS was 10, pulse ox, 90, BA was three times the legal limit, we had to incubate because her respirations were weak and shallow, her heart rate was low but, we were able to pull it back up, she seized and was given Ativan, we're pushing D5W and a banana bag" she paused for a few minutes "she drank too much". Nick looked devastated, "four to six hours and we'll have to wait and see" Lu nodded, "we'll excubate when she wakes up".  
  
Dana awakes the next morning in a private room, she notices the IV's in her arm and the uncomfortable tube down her throat, she turns her head to the side to see Nick, asleep in the chair with his head on the bed, npt beginng able to talk she hits the call button. Nick awakes and Lu comes running into the room, "Dana, I'm going to excubate now" she put's on a pair of gloves and pulls the tube out of her throat, Dana gags. "Dana, don't try to talk, just whisper", Dana nods and Lu leaves the room.  
  
Dana looks at Nick, "what happened?" Nick takes her hand, "you had one too many drinks and ended up in the ER last night" Dana began to think, that could'nt be true, she was would never do something like that, she was in total control, "Nick, tell me it's not true", he wiped a tear away from her face, "I wish I could". Dana did'nt remember much about the past 24 hours, "let me see the chart", Nick got up and grabbed the chart off the end of the bed and handed it to her, as she began to read it she cried even harder, it was true, she was spinning out of control. 


	3. Picking Up the Piece's

Picking Up the Piece's  
  
  
  
  
  
It was Dana's first night home since her two night stay at Rittenhouse but, this time it was for personal reason's, she did'nt have patients or emergenies to deal with, she had drank one too many glasses of wine. She still did'nt feel the best but, she had Nick there for emotional support. Nick tried so hard to comfort Dana only days before she lost all control and he truely believed he had gotten through before. He only wanted to understand why she was doing this top herself and more importantly their relationship.  
  
He lay there beside her, watching her sleep, she looked so peaceful and happy. He looked at the clock on the nightstand, it was past ten. He slowly got up and covered her with a blanket, he kissed her on the cheek. As he was walking out the bedroom door, she awoke, "Nick, where are you going?", he turned back around to face her, "I'm going to sleep on the couch", he walked back over and sat down on the bed, "you'll be okay, just go back to sleep", she grabbed his hand as he went to get up, "please don't go", he clolsed his eyes at her tender touch, "Dana, I really don't think it's best for me to stay in here with you tonight", she lifted her hand up and touched his face, "please Nick, I just want you to hold me". Nick sighed not knowing if this was best but, he could'nt bare to look into her blue eye's and tell her no, "I guess that would be alright". He climbed into bed facing her, she moved closer as he wrapped his arms around her, she quickly drifted off to sleep. The truth was, she felt safe in his arms and he locked out a world of danger, her need to drink.  
  
Dana awakes the next morning for once without a hangover, she did feel much better that she woke up next to Nick. Dana goes out into the kitchen and begins to prepare breakfast, she's waiting for the bacon to finish frying when Nick emerges from the bedroom, "Good morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?" he walks over to her, "do you remember the other night when you asked me how?" Dana was silent for a few seconds, "I recall that". Nick steps even closer and lightly kisses her on the lips, "this is a start of how". Dana looks him in the eye's, "what do you mean?" Nick gets a sneaky look on his face, "close your eye's", she gives him a confused look but agree's, "okay", she shuts her eye's on his command, "now, give me your hands", he takes both of her hands in his. He kisses the right one and let's it go, he then takes a ring out of his pocket and slips it on her left ring finger, "open them". Dana opened her eye's to see Nick, proudly smiling and then she looked down at her hand, which was still in his, "oh, Nick" he interupts her before she can say anything, "Doctor Dana Stowe, will you marry me?". Dana's eye's began to fill with tears, "yes" was all she could say.  
  
Dana walked into Lu's office the same afternoon, "Dana it's good to see you're back" Dana took a seat, "there's two things I wanna tell you". Lu looked a little confused, "okay". Dana moves back, casually in her seat, "one, Nick and I are getting married" Lu started to express her happiness that she had for her friend, "Dana, that's". Wait, Lu, I'm not finished", Lu answered in her defense, "I'm sorry, please finish". Dana continues "and I'm ready to talk to someone, that's were you come in". Lu was shocked at her decision, "I'm ready to listen". Dana took a deep breath and began, "I started drinking to relax and then to take my mind off things and then because it made all the problems, my problems, go away, for a while anyway".  
  
Dana went on to tell Lu about her failed insemination as well as the alcohol abuse and also about her future plans as Mrs. Biancavilla. Lu supported Dana every step of the way and with her help and Nick's love and both of their support, Dana began her healing process.  
  
  
  
Please Review. Thanks Lola. 


	4. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own thess characters.  
  
  
  
Doctor Dana Stowe-Biancavilla sat at her desk going over a patient's chart when she slowly put it down and took a few minutes to herself. She thinks about how much her life has changed over the past six months, she continued AA and is open with her fellow patients who also suffer from the disease of alcoholism.  
  
Dana knew that alcoholism was a disease that you don't know is effecting you until something tragic happens but, she never thought it would be her that was suffering and she realizes although she may not be cured from her disease, as no one ever is, she is seeking treatment and pushing away the disease she considers deadly. Although alcoholism seems like it's something easily recovered from or something that can go away over night, it's not and she's fighting to not only to help herself but to help the other's around her.  
  
She smiles as she turns the wedding band on her finger, then she suddenly remember's that Nick is waiting to take her to dinner.  
  
  
  
A Year Later  
  
  
  
Dana sits on the swing outside her town house holding their five month old son, Caleb as she watches Nick teaching their four year old daughter Maggie how to ride her bike. Dana and Nick decided to adopt Maggie, his niece, after Nick's oldest sister and her husband got killed in a car wreck, she had been living with them for almost a year now and they felt as they had the perfect family. Lu came walking through the yard with her boyfriend Chris followed by Peter and Morgan and Lana and Jerome. They were ready for the all american cook out. Lu took Caleb from Dana, who was engaged in conversation with Lana and Jerome. Nick and Peter were talking to Chris about his proposal plans for Lu and Maggie ran across the yard to Robert, who had open arms for the little girl, he introdued his new galpal, Jill to everyone. Dana looked around at the people she had grew to love and realized that her life was as perfect as one could get.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
Please Review, Thanks Lola. 


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